Scandal about gender has accosted the main stream press as Jenna Lyons, the president and creative director of J. Crew, dared to be featured in a new print ad painting her son’s toenails pink.  My favorite criticism thus far is psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow in what else but a Fox News article: “This is a dramatic example of the way that our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity.” And he is exactly right. Our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity, because they are just that–trappings! Ablow operates on the assumption that sex and gender are completely one and the same–which they are not–and is disheartened by this obvious display of motherly affection and bonding with her son.

Ablow makes a slipperly slope argument that is just not logical, but is making the rounds in the news media outlets:

Well, how about the fact that encouraging the choosing of gender identity, rather than suggesting our children become comfortable with the ones that they got at birth, can throw our species into real psychological turmoil—not to mention crowding operating rooms with procedures to grotesquely amputate body parts? Why not make race the next frontier? What would be so wrong with people deciding to tattoo themselves dark brown and claim African-American heritage? Why not bleach the skin of others so they can playact as Caucasians?

I suggest that our children become comfortable with the biological sex they got at birth, and then choose to act, dress and express their sexuality however they so choose. And if that biological sex is something that is an affront to them, to then explore all of the available medical options. Race is biological. Sex is biological. Gender is not. The acts of wearing a sun dress or painting one’s toenails pink only carry the meaning that society places on them. They do not determine sexual orientation, nor are they permanent the way tattoos and skin bleaching are. They do represent socially constructed ideas of gender that have been perceived to be normal, and yes those constructs are being destroyed, to the joy and relief of hundreds of thousands of people who cannot squish themselves into a pink or blue box.

One of my absolute favorite anticdoes that highlights so acutely the arbitrariness of gender constructs is Walt Disney. When Walt Disney was crafting the famous fairy tales in the 1950s blue was considered the appropriate color for girls for its passive and calm qualities. Pink, closely related to red, was considered more appropriate for boys as it is associated with passion and agency. Cinderella (1950), Alice (1951), Wendy from Peter Pan (1953) are all clad in blue, not pink.  It is Sleeping Beauty in 1959 that literally shows the transitioning social perception as her fairy godmothers argue over the color of her dress throughout the entire movie–an argument that is visually displayed in the last scene of the movie.

Hats off to Jenna Lyons for boldly and publicly rebuffing arbitrary constructs of gender!